So, I asked them again to try and strip my membranes. Normally I dont like people fishing around in there, but I want him OUT! She said I was a fingertip dilated, where as last week I wasnt dilated in the slightest. So, nothing major, but still positive change. She said she didnt technically strip my membranes this time, but was able to reach my bag of water and certainly stirred things up enough that it would release some hormones. Of course it doesnt always work, but hopefully it will do something. Kyle is also much lower- hes not fully egaged, but he isnt floating like last time so thats great too.

Now we just wait and see!

Sorry ladies, I need to complain for a minute. I just need to get it out.

As of yesterday morning I have been having horrible pain in the joint in the front of my public bone. Rolling over in bed is awful, and when I get up from sitting/lying its painful too. I'm *hoping* this means he's engaged- his butt isnt a ton lower, but it is by about an inch. Other than the public pain, I dont feel other pressure so Im not sure...

My ribs still hurt like a SOB. A few nights now I've taken Benadryl and Tylenol because Ive been exhausted to the brink of tears, and its literally been impossible to sleep without it. I wake up feeling SO much better, but obviously I dont want to be doing that every night. I just need him out. I have been having strong BH's all day- more than the last few days, but nothing patterned. Hopefully its soon...

I've also been reading Birthing From Within... Im actually disappointed, I though I would really like it but I dont. I cant quite pinpoint why- I guess Im not into the art projects at all, and I disagree with some of whats in there (like not writing a birth plan). I still think its a valuable book though- Im only halfway though though, and there is a lot of focus on empowerment and finding your inner "birth warrior" that I do find helpful. i just had expected to love the book for some reason, and dont...

One thing I did identify with was the frequent comparisons to birthing women as being instinctual like other animals- I can see myself becoming protective of my birthing space and feeling very primal in birthing.

I should say too that I have the best husband in the world. Today my OCD put me into a panic- the house wasnt clean enough, but I was so exhausted that cleaning it felt like trying to lift the world. Its not that the house isnt clean... it is, but I get into headspace sometimes where any clutter whatsoever makes me feel panicked. Add that its likely nesting as well, and its just overwhelming. I hugged DH and he commented that my heart was racing, which it was, and all I was doing was putting laundry in the machine. He made me lay down, close my eyes, do some deep breathing and even some visual work (which always makes me laugh, I've never been into that). He even tidied some of the basement (which was a wreck) and supervised Ben's part of cleaning up. Later on I got overwhelmed again after being offended by a friend, and he came and did the same thing plus massage.

He also told me today that he was going to be really proud of me after the birth, and thought that I would be proud of myself too. I told him that hes right- that I think it will be empowering. I cant tell you how nice it is to have that kind of support... DH has always been wonderful, but its a wonderful feeling to know that your spouse is really there for you when you need him.

Anyway, thanks for letting me whine and for listening.

Im so tired, I dont even know what to write. Sleeping is impossible... beyond newborn impossible. Still having a ton of BH's, sometimes patterned for a few hours but they have yet to take me into labor.

Other than that we're ready - We had our car seat inspection done and its now installed properly and we know how to use it properly. Still dont have the van bought- DH is on serious deadline at work and has a ton on his plate. I dont see it getting done until he's off work and home with us... which I guess is fine (I trust him to buy us a van).

I'm a smidge bummed we arent having a shower- a friend of DH's at work had long ago asked if it was ok for her to throw us one but with everything going on at their work I guess its not going to happen.. I'm not bummed because of not getting "stuff"- we're blessed in that we can afford to buy everything we need- its more that our family and friends are so far away and its a reminder of how alone we are here. I think we will have a welcome baby BBQ once I've recovered - really I just want everyone to come together and welcome Kyle into the world. We dont need stuff, I just need friends...

Ben loves gardening, but being 8 he needs help with it. Im 38w pregnant and huge and tired and just dont have the energy this year to dig him out a spot in the yard that would work for his garden. So, I got the bright idea that we would use a deck planter like we did in years past, but I wanted something bigger (a single tomato plant isnt going to cut it this year). I couldnt find a deck planter that was deep enough, and even the ones long enough were expensive (the big wooden ones). Passing by the big storage bins I got the bright idea to use one of those! The bin was only $10!

So, we took it home and drilled holes in the bottom for drainage. This morning I took Ben to the little farmers market and we bought topsoil and manure to mix together, 2 tomato plants, 2 green pepper plants, and 1 pea plant (he picked his plants). He carried the soil himself to fill it, mixed up the soils, planted his plants, and watered them.

The total cost was about 20$

Meshing a few posts together...


So, its 11:30 my time and I've been having braxton hicks every 10 mins since 6:30. They arent getting a ton stronger at all, but theyre more irregular- I've had a few every 3-6 mins and some 10 mins apart, but never more then 10 mins apart. I drank lots of water, had a bath, and lay down- nothing helps.

I called the MW and she suggested either a glass of wine or ibuprohen (just this one time for either)- I hate wine, so we're going to try the ibuprohen. If in a few hours nothing has changed then I call her back and likely go get checked. Im 36+2 so I would have to go to the hospital. Ironically this started in birthing class, which my doula teaches, so if they let baby come tonight (if he wants to) I will still have her there.

DH is freaking out, but he wont admit it.




Update...

DH had to go to the store and buy the ibuprofen, and then I tried sleeping. I fell asleep around 1am, woke up at 3am and was having a few more, and then fell back asleep and they stopped.

So- no baby yet.

It did make us realize how much we dont have done- like ordering our cord blood kit, or doing a birth plan! The doula gave us a generic one where you tick off boxes, so we did that last night just in case we had to go to the hospital. I also need to back my bag, and Ben's overnight bag... heh.



Update 2...

so, this morning after I posted I started contracting again- every 4-15 minutes. After a few hours I called the midwife; because its been hours and hours (including last night) and they havent gotten stronger at all, she said its likely just practice.

She sent me to go and get some Cramp Bark tincture to help "quiet the uterus", and take it until Monday. OMG that stuff is vile... but I'd really like Kyle to hold out til Monday so that he's full term and also so that I can birth at the birth center. At 34.5 weeks he was already over 6lbs (Im now 36.5) and he was doing a ton of practice breathing- everyone thinks he would be fine if he had to come now, but obviously full term would be better.

waiting for DH to get home (DH is away!)




Its a long wait.