waiting for DH to get home (DH is away!)




Its a long wait.

People keep asking me if I'm ready to give birth, and I always say no- because he isnt ready to come out yet, and I'll be ready when I hit full term at 37 weeks.

The last few days have been so uncomfortable- the MW told me he literally has his butt wedged under my diaphragm and his legs/feet pushing into my ribs. I knew that already! The heartburn is horrible but manageable with zantac, but yesterday there was nothing I would do to get his out from my left rib. By the end of the day I was in so much pain- I spent a lot of time in the "cow" and "childs pose" yoga positions and sat on the birthing ball leaning forward which helped, but eventually that hurts your hips.

I cant sleep at all at night the last week- if I lay on either side the ribs on that side hurt even more, I guess just from gravity. I cant lay on my back of course (not that I can even breathe that way) and belly is obviously not an option. I was trying to sleep semi-propped on my back, but I'm trying not to recline in an effort to get him to turn.

Last night I went down stairs and started crying on DH, telling him I was getting ready for Kyle to come out! :( I'm exhausted and pained... I dont want him to come early, I just want to be 40 weeks already! (well, ideally- I'd be a day past birth lol). Just farst forward me to the part where he's born.

I think the exhaustion caught up with me though, I slept SIX straight hours last night! I couldnt believe it. I think the tiredness outdid my rib pain (although it hurt like hell when I got up) but I feel MUCH better having slept.


Birthing class starts Wednesday 6 more weeks to go...

DH has been very sweet- last night he said that he was looking forward to when Kyle would grab his finger. I told him he would likely do that when he was born, and he said "I know". It was just so sweet I teared up, and told him I love him. He talks to the baby all the time- he sings him the alphabet! Ben knows how soon his little brother is coming, he knows its in the beginning of May and about how many days it is. He isnt any more excited than before- he thinks the baby is going to cry a lot at night, but is looking forward to being a big brother.

I've put on about 26lbs, its starting to pack on faster now though. Im starving all of the time! Even though I eat well, its just a lot of food. DH says not to worry about it until after Kyle is born and I've recovered from birth, so Im trying not to. I always hated when pregnant women bitched about weight gain but it is hard seeing the numbers climb (especially post ED).

We start birthing class (Bradley) next week, and we'll be meeting the midwife for the first time then (she teaches the class). We have a midwife appt wednesday, and then starting 1.5 weeks later we start going every week. Im also starting to get massages every week starting Friday which Im looking forward to, especially this week; I fell up concrete steps last week and jarred my back and shoulders and have been hurting even since. the chiro helped a ton but the muscles are still locked up. Also going to yoga twice a week although I often miss a day... but that helps too.

Off to bed, belly pic below.

I always check on Ben before I go to sleep- I go into his room and kiss him and make sure hes breathing (yes, hes 8 and I still do this!). Last night I realized I'm going to have two little boys to check on before bed, and I was overwhelmed with gratitude and thanks to the powers that be.

I dont spend a lot of time thinking about Kyle actually being here- I know he's coming, but what he smells like, looks like, sounds like is all kind of imaginary right now. But, in ~7 weeks time I'm going to be tucking two kids into bed... theres going to be a whole other person here! The nursery that I've spent weeks getting ready, the clothes in the dresser, the little bathtub, the swing, the box of diapers, are all going to be used by someone. I've always known it in my head, but I'm starting to feel it. :)

I really hate how judgmental other moms can be of each other sometimes.

Today I was at a trial class for gymnastics with Ben. Some kid yelled at Ben, and Ben pushed him away. The teachers dealt with it, but the other kid freaked out and was crying, stomping, hitting the wall, etc. He came out to see his mother after punching the glass window and slamming the door. Mom was talking to him in German, and then the kid went back in, slamming the door even harder. I waved for Ben to come see me and he told me that he pushed the kid and why (I didnt see him)- I scolded Ben and essentially told him all the expected things when your kid doesnt keep their hands to themselves and to go apologize.

The upset kids mother went to get her baby something, and the mom next to me said "its not just you kid". I said "Oh I know kids do that sometimes- but hes too old to be pushing other kids and has to keep his hands to himself". She turns around to see if the angry kids mother is there and starts telling me how she understands German, and the other mother doesnt deal with her kid the right way and it figures he acts like that. It doesnt surprise me when mothers bash eachother... but it always catches me off guard. I just said "oh. well either way Ben cant be pushing kids" and left it at that.

I dont know what the angry kids mom said, and I dont like that she didnt give her kid hell for punching windows or slamming doors- but its not my kid! And unless your child is doing something to mine, its not my business. I dont know what this kid has going on- he might have behavioural issues theyre trying to work though- a disability, a loss in the family- either way its not my place to judge this womans parenting. You cant know what these kids have going on in their lives, or their mothers, and your particular method of parenting isnt necessarily whats best for every child. Even if I dont like it, I certainly wouldnt be bashing this stranger's parenting to other mothers (who are also strangers)- I find it judgmental and catty.

A few months ago I bumped into a mother and daughter that Ben recognized, and somehow we got to talking about another kid. The girls mother starts telling me how the other kids mother "knows all the men in our city if kwim" and how she a bartender (like thats a bad thing somehow). I dont know the girls mother (or the other kids mother) from adam- why on earth would you spread rumors like that? Its a different situation than the gym thing, but its the same judgment about other moms coming from from total strangers.

I'm sure I've been on the receiving end of that- Ben has had some serious behavioral issues before, so Im sensitive to it. I just wish mothers were more empathetic to eachother, and tried to be more understanding of where they might be coming from...

YAY! The crib and dresser finally came. Unfortunately the crib is scuffed along one rail... Im talking with the store and the delivery people about what to do. Anyway, Im thrilled its here I still need to get a child-safe blind and put up the artwork I have a buy a few more, plus get a crib skirt. I also want to get some of the letters to spell out his name for above his crib.

Just over 8 weeks to go- Im getting excited

So Im 31 weeks tomorrow! The crib & dresser are coming either Thursday or Friday which I'm really excited about. I just had DH move all of my office stuff out of there yesterday, so its finally ready to be finished painting (theres just the corner left where the desk was). I got a little bit of wall decor for his room (below), so this week I'll be working on the nursury.

Im having a ton of braxton hicks- about 10 in a day that I'm noticing. They are uncomfortably strong and made me nervous for labor... they dont hurt, but so do have to stop what Im doing sometimes and wait for it to pass. I dont have more than 5 in an hour, it doesnt affect my back at all, they dont get stronger or more frequent so Im not worried about it being early labor (and its been like this for over a week).

I have my first midwife appointment tomorrow (we changed from an OB) and Im excited about that. DH is in NZ so hes missing it, but hes been to all the others so he is forgiven. Other then that I've been going to prenatal yoga twice a week and shopping online- its too hard to walk around a lot, so Im ordering baby gear to the house

9 weeks to go!