Sorry ladies, I need to complain for a minute. I just need to get it out.

As of yesterday morning I have been having horrible pain in the joint in the front of my public bone. Rolling over in bed is awful, and when I get up from sitting/lying its painful too. I'm *hoping* this means he's engaged- his butt isnt a ton lower, but it is by about an inch. Other than the public pain, I dont feel other pressure so Im not sure...

My ribs still hurt like a SOB. A few nights now I've taken Benadryl and Tylenol because Ive been exhausted to the brink of tears, and its literally been impossible to sleep without it. I wake up feeling SO much better, but obviously I dont want to be doing that every night. I just need him out. I have been having strong BH's all day- more than the last few days, but nothing patterned. Hopefully its soon...

I've also been reading Birthing From Within... Im actually disappointed, I though I would really like it but I dont. I cant quite pinpoint why- I guess Im not into the art projects at all, and I disagree with some of whats in there (like not writing a birth plan). I still think its a valuable book though- Im only halfway though though, and there is a lot of focus on empowerment and finding your inner "birth warrior" that I do find helpful. i just had expected to love the book for some reason, and dont...

One thing I did identify with was the frequent comparisons to birthing women as being instinctual like other animals- I can see myself becoming protective of my birthing space and feeling very primal in birthing.

I should say too that I have the best husband in the world. Today my OCD put me into a panic- the house wasnt clean enough, but I was so exhausted that cleaning it felt like trying to lift the world. Its not that the house isnt clean... it is, but I get into headspace sometimes where any clutter whatsoever makes me feel panicked. Add that its likely nesting as well, and its just overwhelming. I hugged DH and he commented that my heart was racing, which it was, and all I was doing was putting laundry in the machine. He made me lay down, close my eyes, do some deep breathing and even some visual work (which always makes me laugh, I've never been into that). He even tidied some of the basement (which was a wreck) and supervised Ben's part of cleaning up. Later on I got overwhelmed again after being offended by a friend, and he came and did the same thing plus massage.

He also told me today that he was going to be really proud of me after the birth, and thought that I would be proud of myself too. I told him that hes right- that I think it will be empowering. I cant tell you how nice it is to have that kind of support... DH has always been wonderful, but its a wonderful feeling to know that your spouse is really there for you when you need him.

Anyway, thanks for letting me whine and for listening.